Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everyone. I'm Jane.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: I'm Kitten.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: As you know, my name is Pat. It's that time again. It's time for another episode of the Kinky Kristen podcast.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Ooh, my booty.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: I got your booty. Yeah. So while I'm. Be careful. While I'm grabbing her booty. We're gonna welcome everyone to the Kinky Christian podcast.
You found us again. Hopefully on purpose. On purpose. And not accidentally.
But if you did find us accidentally. Welcome, welcome. Hope you enjoy the show. I'm Pat.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: I'm Kitten.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: And we are doing a series. I say a series. This is the second episode. I don't know if there'll be more on this. We don't know yet. We kind of shoot from the hip on things, in case you can't tell, but we're doing a series on the Internet and how it has affected different aspects of our relational and sexual experiences.
Right, right. Call that same accurate.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: Sounds pretty accurate.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: So in a previous episode, we touched on how the Internet kind of changed how we date. You know, we went from, you know, decades and centuries ago, you know, from arranged marriages, which still happen, and how then you go out to meet people and meet people at work. And now we got dating apps and swipe right, swipe left. And so now we want to talk about how the Internet has affected and impacted our access, I guess you would say, to adult materials and our sexual education kind of, you know, that whole. We're going to kind of roll it all into one thing.
So I remember, I don't know how they used to do it before my time because I wasn't around. And my parents, we didn't talk. I mean, everyone. It's kind of funny because everyone jokes about, oh, you gotta have the talk with your kids. You know, the birds and the bees and my parents.
That was a no go. That never happened. My dad never sat me down and said, now listen, son, this is your penis. And you know, what was that? Oh, Kindergarten Cop. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
You know, we never had that. So I don't know if it was just because my dad was very old. Well, he was old. But if he was just kind of a personal. The kept saying, I don't know.
But I had heard that in past lives. That's what they did. They sat you down and had the. The talk, right?
[00:03:08] Speaker B: I didn't get the talk.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: You didn't get to talk?
[00:03:11] Speaker B: No, no, I didn't get the talk. Well, my mom was very sexual and she was outwardly sexually.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And she Never sat you down.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: No.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: Well. And maybe that's why you explored it the way you did.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: Could be.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: You know, I. I mean, it had to make an impact. If you don't learn from home and you don't really learn from school, because in school, they didn't teach you school health class. They more or less promote just, you know, this is how a body functions and this is birth control.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: And that was it. That was all we got taught in health class was how our sexual organs function and about birth control. They never said how to have sex.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: Or what not to have sex, what.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Not to have sex. And, you know, we got none of that.
So we learned from friends, you know.
So now we have the Internet.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Yes, we do.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: And I know there's a lot of people, even quite a few of our listeners, that have not. They don't remember life before the Internet.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: No.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: And that. Just that when you stop and think about it, first of all, it makes me feel old, you know, But I just can't imagine people not knowing life before the Internet.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's kind of sad, actually.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's the way of life now is the Internet.
So we reached out to some of our younger listeners and wanted to kind of. Because we really. We grew up without the Internet. So our access to adult materials, first of all, was very limited.
[00:05:14] Speaker B: If your parents didn't get porn magazines or your friends.
[00:05:18] Speaker A: Or your friends.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You didn't get it.
So romance books.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Romance.
[00:05:24] Speaker B: Romance novels that would get passed around school.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Harlequin romance.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know if they were harlequins or not, but you get them.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: Yeah, we got.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: That's what happened with the girls.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: Is that what the girls did?
[00:05:36] Speaker B: That's what the girls did. Yeah. We would pass around the romance novels.
[00:05:40] Speaker A: Okay, but think about it. The romance novels back then were considered kind of smutty.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Yes. And they were. I mean, they had sexual content.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Okay, but compare what you were reading back then to, let's say, 50 shades of grey or. Oh, not even sex or what you're reading now.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: No, it's not, you know, so imagine being a kid back then, reading what you're reading now.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: I think I'd probably never have sex ever, because I would be afraid of what would happen to me.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: You'd get your hair pulled.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: My butt beat.
[00:06:19] Speaker A: Butt beat.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: I would be like, what?
[00:06:21] Speaker A: I ain't doing that.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: No. That's abuse. Yeah.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: So that's how the girls did it in your time.
[00:06:29] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: The boys as kitten said we would look, if our dads. Unfortunately, my dad. I say unfortunately. I shouldn't say unfortunately.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: It's not really unfortunate.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: It's not unfortunate.
My dad didn't do any kind of smut magazine, so I couldn't go searching through his dresser drawers to find the Playboy or Penthouse.
He never watched porn.
My dad had eight kids, and I'm thinking, you gotta have something sexual somewhere. But I guess it was just, you know, see my mom. And that's all it took. That's all it took, man. So, you know, you live on a farm and you got nothing.
[00:07:11] Speaker B: You got nothing better to do.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: So.
But my friends, they would, you know, steal them from their parents or something. So we would sit and we'd look at, you know, the girly magazines. And it wasn't nothing. There was no sex. There's no penetration.
There was only naked women, you know.
[00:07:33] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: So it was Penthouse and it was Playboy and, you know.
And as I got older.
Morph, what you doing, buddy?
This is our studio cat. Studio cat who likes to just get in the way.
So as we got older, VCRs really became prominent. You know, I grew up in the 70s. We both grew up in the 70s, into the 80s.
Well, in the 70s, there was no VCRs, you know, and we only had three channels on TV. It wasn't until the late. I mean, I shouldn't say there was no home VCRs. They were very expensive and only, like, schools and that would have them to show stuff. And it's not like there's just tons of stuff out there to watch anyway.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: Okay, you probably lost half of our listeners when you said VCRs.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:08:36] Speaker B: Just saying.
[00:08:39] Speaker A: I bet I did.
So when. When home video cassette recorders really came into prominence in the late 70s, into the 80s, that's when porn really started making it into my life.
Because I had friends who had parents who would watch porn. And I remember. And I might have told this story before, I remember the very first porn I ever saw.
I was 14 at the time. And my friend got this one and he loaned it to me. And it was a spoof on mash, which I'm sure no one's going to know what MASH is. MASH was a TV show back in my day that I used to watch. Look it up, you'll understand what it is. But it was a. A porn spoof on it.
So I took it home. And oddly enough, even though we never had porn in the house or any kind of adult material in the house, my Parents. I knew my parents wouldn't care, so I started watching it. My dad sat down, started watching it with me.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: How awkward.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: Well, but you would think it would be, but it really wasn't because 15 minutes into the movie, I look over and here's dad.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: Okay, that's fair.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: So me and my brother just finished watching the show, you know. Anyway, so that was how we accessed porn. You know, adult materials, whatever you want to call it.
Now we have the Internet.
And I will tell you right now that if there's a way to make money off something, the porn industry will find it.
Oh, yeah, they're the first. Believe it or not, I'm going to date myself again. When VCRs were first making it big, there was two formats.
There's the VHS and there's Beta. Betamax.
Well, because even though Betamax was a superior technology, VHS was cheaper to make.
That's the way porn went and that kind. I. I've read numerous articles that have said that that's the biggest reason things tipped that way was because you could get porn on vhs, but you couldn't get it on Betamax.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: That's funny.
[00:11:20] Speaker A: As easy. Yeah. Anyway, true or not, I don't know. But the porn industry leads in a lot of things that people would not think about.
So when the Internet came along, of course you can get porn everywhere.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: And so forth. These younger people, younger adults, younger kids, just younger individuals who don't know life before the Internet.
It's so simple to get porn for free.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: And if you can think of it, you'll find a porn version of it.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: Pornhub for the win.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: Right.
I mean, it's just. It's everywhere. So we reached out to compare our experiences to those of you younger listeners that have never known life without the Internet. And it was very interesting to find, at least from the ones that we spoke to, that even though the delivery method was different, a lot of what they experienced was the same.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: You know.
Yes. The Internet made it much easier.
I believe, from all our listeners that we spoke to, it was pretty unanimous that they were exposed to it at a much younger age.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: I mean, some of them were single digits when they were exposed to Internet adult material.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: Some of them were early, you know, double digits, 10, 11, you know.
But they're preteen.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: Like I said, I was 14 and I thought that was pretty young.
I don't know how old you were when you were passing around your girly books.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: I was in grade school.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: Really? So you were pretty young.
[00:13:30] Speaker B: Yeah, we were, you know, 10, nine. 10.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
To me, that's kind of young.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: Now, girls age. They don't age. They mature faster.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: Well, and plus, I don't know if it's matters, but I was in a different region.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: Yes. Of the country. Yeah.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: You know, my culture was different than what you were experiencing.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: Very much so, yeah.
And your family?
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Family of origins?
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Well, no, the, like your circle that your mom hung with.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: The people that you hung with, the schools that you went to, and, you know, your family circle, that was a way different. You know, I was a farm kid, you know, and I was a city girl, and you were a city girl and a military brat.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Yes. So we were exposed to a lot of things early.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: And I mean, way more than what I was exposed to.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: Not just earlier. It was way earlier, but it was far more than what I was exposed to.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: So you had, like, way more extreme experiences way earlier than me.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: So I think that makes a huge difference.
[00:14:53] Speaker B: It does. It does make a huge difference.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: So. But yeah.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Protected farm boy.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Well, it's not that I was protected, it's just you don't get much out in the sticks other than sticks.
A stick.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: A stick.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: You know, and I really. I did not get exposed to much of anything until we moved off the farm and into the city.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah, see, it's the city.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: It breaks the house. It does. I'm not kidding. I am not kidding. The cities are horrible, man. I know some of you love living in them. And God bless you. To each their own. I'm not going to. You know, I remember when we were first talking about, you know, moving out into the country, and Ken's, like, getting way off traffic. Oh, hell no. I will not move. Uh, I'm not going to have well water and the septic system and live out in the country where I can't. And now that we're out in the country, she doesn't even like driving into the city, let alone thinking about moving into the city.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: Nope. No. Thank you.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: So anyway, so back on top. And stop. Stop leading me astray.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: Here's the apple.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: There it is. Right. Thank you.
So their experiences were different, but the. The. I shouldn't say their experiences, the method of delivery were different, but a lot of the experiences were very similar.
A lot of the feelings that they felt and still feel. And still feel, you know, guilt, shame. Yep.
It's all.
It's all the same, you know?
So I'm trying to talk about things in a broad sense, so I don't like, point out certain individuals that we spoke to.
I don't want to call anyone out on air.
So there was.
And you got to also remember that the people that we have been speaking to are just like us. They're Christian.
They're into the kink community.
I think a lot of the people who watch and listen to us and that we interact with are that. So keep in mind that when we speak to people or speak about people that we've spoken to, they are Christian.
And I think that's where a lot of the guilt comes in.
And the ones we spoke to say just that.
Trying to not sin, trying to be that good person.
We spoke to one of our friends out there, and they had an addiction, let's say.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: And what was eating them alive was keeping it secret. And they did everything they could to keep it a secret.
When they finally told somebody that someone being their father, though their father, like, get mad and attack them or judge them, there was a wedge, a little bit of a wedge that was put in between them for a few years.
And the father was so ill equipped to deal with this from the church aspect that he did nothing to help the individual.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: They didn't even want to talk about it.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Yeah. It was, like, taboo.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: And that's the main reason we do this podcast. Yes, we enjoy the bdsm. Yes, we enjoy the power exchange relationship. Yes, we enjoy doing what we can to educate. We like having fun.
But the church, I think, is really falling short in educating people, and not just church members, but educate the public. Take a stand and educate people on sex from a godly perspective.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: But they don't want to touch it at all.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: At all. Yeah.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: I mean, they'll talk about Song Solomon.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: But how often does that happen?
[00:19:56] Speaker B: Not often.
[00:19:57] Speaker A: And how often do they talk about it from the aspect of sex and not just love in a relationship? Oh, look at this. It was a beautiful love. He really loved her. They never said, you know, oh, he talks about her tits and he wants to bang her. They don't ever talk about sex. They don't?
[00:20:14] Speaker B: No.
[00:20:15] Speaker A: You know, I mean, we've gotten to the point where they don't even try to say, okay, these are the things that you shouldn't do, you know, don't have sex with family members.
You know, don't. It's. It's okay to use dildos.
You know, they. They don't touch on anything.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: No. I'm. I've never been in a forward, progressive church that would speak about things like that.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:47] Speaker B: And I don't think you have either.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Never, never, never.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:51] Speaker A: You know, they avoid the topic. All they will. The one thing they like to touch on is don't have sex before marriage.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's not even true.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: That's not even in the Bible. There's things in there that say what happens when you. But when you have sex before marriage. But there's nothing in there that says don't do it. There's nothing in there that says it's a sin or it's wrong. It just says if you do it, this is what you have to do to compensate for it.
So far. So far is what we've done.
So it's really.
In our eyes. It's really important that this gets addressed. And in all honesty, I'm not even 100% sure it should be being addressed by us.
I think it should be being addressed by the church.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. Or I mean, I don't.
No, I don't agree with that.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: I think that it should be addressed, period, by everybody. By everybody.
We gotta talk about it.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: We do.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Because if you don't talk about it, then it's hidden and it makes people feel guilty. It makes people feel shame. It makes people feel less than the negative, all the negative feelings. And so to me, talking about it is what needs to happen most importantly at the church level.
But even, like, at our level, just normal, everyday Joes, you know, to educate people and make them feel safe, like they have a safe space.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: I think that's. That is, like, one of the things that's missing most.
I don't think people feel safe enough to talk about it.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: You know, I think you got aa. You got na.
You know, I know there is groups for porn addicts, but do you ever see it at church?
[00:23:15] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: But they will promote the heck out of their AA and nas.
Divorce recoveries.
You know, they will promote the heck out of that. But I don't think people feel safe enough because church has made it such a taboo topic. I don't think people feel safe enough to come and talk to anyone.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: You know, because people are so judgmental nowadays.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness, yes.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: You know, as soon as you say, you know, I'm into bdsm, all of a sudden you're just this deviant.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: You know, whereas if I say I'm an alcoholic, I get sympathy.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: Right. Because now it's a disease.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And.
But being into BDSM is not even a sin. It's not wrong. It's not. It's not even unhealthy Nope. You know, and I'll have more to.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Say about that once I get through that book.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Well, that's good, because we need to get some more good information on that to share.
So. Yeah, I mean, like I said, I don't want to share a lot of specifics because we got listeners that. And here's the sad thing.
We've got listeners and watchers that share their story with us.
And guys, I appreciate it. I say guys in general, not just because you're guys. Just so you know, we appreciate that more than you'll ever know that you feel comfortable and safe enough to share with us.
The thing is, it took a lot of building trust between us and them for that to happen, and I will never betray that trust.
We should be able to have those conversations without feeling like we're going to. You know, that was one of the things when we spoke to all of them.
Like I said, it took a little bit.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Yet again, if this was Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous or I cheated on my spouse and I'm going through a divorce, whatever, it's easy for people to bring that up.
These people should be able to talk to people and not.
They're so ashamed and they're so afraid to bring it up.
Why? Why do we live in a society.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: That'S like that, where it's not the norm? Yeah, yeah. BDSM is not the norm.
Not that it has to be the.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Norm, but being able to talk about it should be.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: Yeah, agreed.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: You know, especially to your church. And if the church can show me where BDSM is wrong, I'll stop. You know, if it says God says you can't do that, then I'm not going to do it. You know, we made that very clear up front.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Right, we did.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: But God is not against it.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: No, not from what we've got.
[00:26:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, if anyone else has anything that we miss, show us. But anyway, we're getting off topic again, and we get going. I just. I feel so bad that the church is failing so bad in this area, and that's why we started the podcast. But, yeah, when. When we talk to our younger people who grew up with the Internet, I really expected completely different stories, you know.
[00:26:53] Speaker B: But they're pretty much the same.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: They were pretty much the same.
It made it a lot easier. So they were exposed to more adult material at an earlier age with much greater ease than what we had it.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:27:10] Speaker A: You know, and more graphic.
[00:27:12] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: Their processing of it, their feelings about it, what they went through, was very similar. To what we did, though.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: You know, I was never huge with into adult material.
I think it's because we became sexually active so early.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: Yeah, we didn't need it.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Yeah, we had each other, so there was really no need for it.
That is my feeling.
But yeah, I mean, I've talked to friends my age, my whole life about this kind of stuff and same thing, they're like, yeah, I can't tell my wife or I can't tell. I hide it. Everything's hidden. And there's a lot of guilt and shame.
And that right there should show something. Because God ain't about feeling guilt or shame.
If you're going to feel anything, you should feel convicted.
Not guilt or shame, but when it comes to sexual sin, of all the sins that are out there when it comes to sexual sin and things that aren't even a sin when it comes to sexual. The church, I feel the church has made us feel so ashamed of it.
[00:28:46] Speaker B: That we feel like it's a sin and it's not.
[00:28:49] Speaker A: There you go. That's exactly right. I didn't even think about that. But yeah, you're exactly right. We feel like it's a sin, but it's not.
So I'm not saying porn is right or wrong. I haven't really found anything that we haven't gotten that far says it is or isn't. You know, we've hit a couple verses where it talks about uncovering someone's nakedness.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Their father.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: And in a couple other areas it talks about it, but it seems to talk about it in different contexts. So we'll deal with that as we go. But I haven't seen anything anywhere that says watching someone have sex is bad. Other than later on where Jesus says if you lust after someone, you've committed adultery in your heart. So that part of it I can see if porn is tempting you to lust after someone.
I get it.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: Right. But we haven't gotten there yet.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: We haven't gotten there yet. And so don't blast us with, oh, porn's a sin and you're trying to tell people it's not. We're not saying it is or isn't.
So.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: No, we're not.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: But yeah, listening to our friends stories were very heart touching, very humbolding, very humbling. Yeah.
Understand people that we're here to support you guys, man. We want to help, we want to educate, we want to give you a safe space. If you ever want to talk, you can reach out to us because we don't want you to have to face anything alone.
You shouldn't have to. And it makes people feel like they have to face it alone.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: And you're not alone.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: And you're not alone.
Especially in the BDSM and the kink community, you're not alone. There are kinky Christians out there. They're just too afraid to say anything.
So if you want to reach out to us, hit us up by email at the Kinky Christian Podcastmail Comment on the videos we read, the comments we respond to all the comments, all the emails.
But don't feel like you're in this alone.
The Internet makes things difficult. It puts the temptations out there more.
For all the good it does, it does just as much bad.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: You know, so I think that's about all we got to say in this.
[00:31:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I think so.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: I think we beat this horse to death.
But anyway, like we said, reach out to us the Kinky Christian Podcastmail comment. Like, subscribe, share, you know, do all the things that make us popular so we can keep doing this.
And until next time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, God bless.
