[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everyone, I'm Jane.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: I'm kitten.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: As you know, my name is Pat. It's that time again. It's time for another episode of the Kinky Christian podcast.
So welcome to Genesis of Sex, part two.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: You didn't even say who we were.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: No, because what this is. I was trying to be like.
Like, dramatic, you know, like, we're big time now, you know? Welcome.
Welcome to the genesis of sex.
Let's get ready to do something.
I can't say that because probably sue me from.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: And for copyright infringement.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: I'm gonna take away your sugar.
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Are you? But you're my sugar, so welcome to the Kinky Christian podcast. I am Pat.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: I am kitten.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: And it sounds like kitten needs some sugar. Give me some sugar, baby.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Kitten. No, kitten is fine, okay?
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Yes, she is.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: Lord have mercy.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: So, we are going to continue our journey through the Bible, where it talks about sex, relationships, and.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: And the reason why men don't get laid.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: We do, whether it's by ourselves or with someone else.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: What, we don't have another someone else?
[00:01:41] Speaker A: No, I mean, like, by myself or with you.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Not when you're being like this.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: No.
So we are still. I mean, this is only the second episode we're doing in this series.
[00:01:57] Speaker B: These people are gonna run.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: I think she's lost her mind.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: Oh, lord, I've lost my sanity.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Oh, isn't that special?
[00:02:08] Speaker B: Bless your heart.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: Bless your heart. So we're still in the book of Genesis, and we're never gonna get out. No. There's a lot that. That goes on in Genesis, and some of it's quick and simple, some of it's not.
But we're in Genesis four right now.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: I like this line.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: You like this line?
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Okay. Wow. Okay, well, let me. So we're in Genesis four, and this is right after Cain killed his brother Abel. So. I mean, naughty. Talk about family drama. Man, that is just crazy. I mean, I've been ticked off at someone before, but. Holy cow.
So God punished Cain, and he went out from the Lord's present to live in the land of Nod, which was east of Eden, which. That was a movie, by the way. East of Eden. I've never seen it.
[00:03:07] Speaker B: I heard it was good.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: I bet it was. So Cain made love to his wife, which nobody really knows where she came from, but.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a thing.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
Which leads to some of my beliefs, but we're not going to talk about that because that's not what this podcast is about. So Cain took a wife, made love to his wife, she became pregnant, gave birth to their son Enoch.
And then it goes on to tell you what happened with Enoch and everything, and kind of goes down the genealogy there, and they get to, lamech, lamech.
Lamech.
Sounds like something a bird would say. Lamech. Lamech. Lamech. Right? Anyway, and this is what I found kind of odd.
First time it mentions this, so I put it down. It says lamech. I can't say that now without going, Lamek. Lamek.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: How you're supposed to.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: I don't. Lamek. I don't know. Lamech. To me, that's Lamec. Lamech. Anyway, Lamech married two women. Yes.
One named Ada and the other name Zillah.
So I find it, and it's kind of weird because who's, who's like, what is marriage back at this time? Is someone actually performing a ceremony, or is it just a binding of hearts and souls in God's eyes? I don't know. It never really.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Or is it just a legal contract?
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Well, but there was no law.
There's no.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: You know, there's no government set up back then. So what. What is Mary? Anyway? So he married two women, and I was like, well, that's kind of odd, you know, especially since in modern Christianity, that's not a thing. Yeah, but yet it's in the Bible.
So I put that down.
You know, there's a. Hmm. He married two women. And it doesn't say it was a sin.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: It doesn't say, you know, anything bad about it, just that he did it.
And so that's something I wanted to bring to light. Now, I know a lot of people are like, oh, that's the Old Testament. The New Testament is different. I 100% agree. I get it.
But I also keep in mind, you know, that Jesus says, I did not come to eliminate the law, but to fulfill the law.
And Jesus says different things. I tell you now, marriage is between one man and one woman, and we're going to get to that when we get to the New Testament. So things skipper or header. Yeah, things to come. I just. I saw this and it was relational.
So there's already something there where people are marrying multiple people.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: I wonder if that's where one of the religions sprung from.
[00:06:24] Speaker A: It could be, but, yeah. So there's really not a whole lot.
[00:06:32] Speaker B: More to say about that.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: No, I mean, just to let you know, it happened.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: And then they started to call on the Lord, which.
When.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: What do you mean here?
[00:06:44] Speaker B: At that time, people began to call on the name of the Lord. That kind of leads me to believe that.
Okay, so they weren't calling on him, like, the last few chapters or what's going on there?
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Well, because this is when. After the fall and everyone, you know, God's like, everyone out of the pool, you know, playtime's over. So they. God and them were kind of separated and.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: Oh, they were put in the corner.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: Yeah. They had a timeout. And that's when God said, oh, you know, they started calling them and.
You know what I mean? Okay, so.
And then you have to jump ahead from chapter four to chapter nine to get to the next mention.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: Probably would have been faster. Just change that.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: I'm sure I probably would be faster if I just let my kitten do what she's good at doing and take care of the technology into things.
I know.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: That's on you.
[00:07:53] Speaker A: I apologize. So you go to chapter nine, and by this time, we're talking about Noah. And everyone knows what Noah is famous for, right?
[00:08:03] Speaker B: Nope. Phyllis in?
[00:08:05] Speaker A: No, Noah is the guy.
You know, that crazy dude that.
[00:08:12] Speaker B: Oh, I'm trying to see what nine. Okay. Found it.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: Found it.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: He's a whack a doodle that built that boat.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Yeah. What kind of ding dong builds a boat in the middle of a desert, you know, smart one. We all had them crazy neighbors. Well, Noah was that crazy neighbor, you know? So that. That tells you, you know, when you have that neighbor down the street that is, like, out there doing something crazy, and you go. And looking at him go, ooh, he's a little off. And you say, you know, hey, jeb, what are you doing? And God told me to build this statue of a peanut butter sandwich. Maybe God told him to do that.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: I'm just saying.
[00:08:51] Speaker B: And maybe you should, too.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: And maybe you should, too.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: Or help the man.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: So we get to Genesis nine, and what I'm gonna read is just. It's something that struck me, so you'll. You'll understand when. When I read it.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: When you finally read it.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm gonna read it right now.
I should make you read it.
Noah, a man of the soil, which means he was a farmer, right.
Proceeded to plant a vineyard.
Now, this was after the ark incident, so it was just Noah, his wife, his sons and their wives. And, you know, all the critters that.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: Were running about, you know, are they on the ark?
[00:09:42] Speaker A: No, this is. You can't plan a vineyard on the ark. That's just.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: Yeah, you can if they brought dirt.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: They didn't bring dirt. They had nothing but cow poop in there. So.
[00:09:53] Speaker B: I mean, that's fertile.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: It's fertile. But that would burn your seeds. Anyway, he planted a vineyard.
When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. So the boy got hammered. Hammered and naked at the same time.
So one of his son's name was Ham. And don't.
We'll call him Ham, just so you don't think that way.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: We'll call him Ham.
Ham, who is also the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers, who were outside.
But shem and Japheth, who are the other two, took a garment and laid it across their shoulders. Then they walked in backwards and covered their father's naked body. Their faces were turned away so they would not see their father naked.
So I'm trying to understand the point of this, because then it says, when Noah awoke from his wine. So when, you know, hungover. When he wakes with a hangover and found out what his youngest son had done to him, which all he did was see him naked and told his two brothers outside, he said, curse be Canaan, the lowest of slaves in will he be to his brothers.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: So he cursed his grandchildren.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: So, no, no, his son.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Yeah, cursed be Canaan.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: I mean, I don't understand the whole point of this, but it had to deal with, like, the nudity and what's right and wrong.
It doesn't say anything that God said anything was wrong, but it does talk about how Noah. You know, to me, there's probably more to the story than just that.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: There has to be. It doesn't make sense to me.
[00:12:13] Speaker A: It doesn't make sense. And I'm sure there's going to be some historian who tries to. Well, you got to understand back at the time. And that's fine. I'm all for that. You know, lay it on me, because if it helps me to understand it, that's fine.
I'm never against learning. Bring it on. So if you know what this whole thing is about, let it. Let me know, because, I mean, I get going in and covering up your dad if he's drunk and naked, I get it, you know, I would do the same thing.
So what did Kanan do wrong? Yeah.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: You know, I mean, he just walked into the room. How does he know that papa's naked?
[00:12:55] Speaker A: Well. And then all he did was go out and tell us. He. He told his two brothers.
So was he mocking him? Was he like, oh, look at dad. He's drunk and his willie's hanging out. You know what I mean? I mean, was there more to that was it.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: Genuine concern. Cause he's like, dad's naked. I don't know what to do. And the old. The other two brothers knew what to do, right?
[00:13:19] Speaker A: So I don't know.
[00:13:20] Speaker B: He got the shaft.
[00:13:22] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't. And we're just. I just wanted to put that out there because it.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: Naked.
[00:13:27] Speaker A: Naked. You know?
So that's. That's the next part of our trip through Genesis. Now, we're going to jump ahead to chapter twelve, and I'm going to let kitten.
[00:13:39] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: Whoa. What? Look at that.
[00:13:41] Speaker B: Whoa, nellie.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: That. I never did that.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: Yes, you did.
[00:13:46] Speaker A: I did.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: What are we doing?
[00:13:47] Speaker A: 1212?
[00:13:50] Speaker B: Something specific.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: Just get to twelve and then we'll go to ten.
But I want to see what in the. What are you doing here? I did not do any of that when I was doing this.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: Well, I don't have my mouse. It's being special.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: So we need to go to ten.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Go to ten. I'm getting there. But I need to make it bigger so us old farts can read.
[00:14:13] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: You're welcome.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: So, in this one, this is with Abram. That. He's not Abraham yet. He's still Abram.
And this is when there is a famine in the land and they're looking for food.
Okay.
And this. This is pretty interesting because I'm. I'm not sure the whole point of this either. I mean, I'm sure.
Again, there's one of the guys I've been talking to is a theologian. He went to school. So he might actually chime in on this and that, you know, on all of this. That'd be great.
So, in chapter twelve, it starts at verse ten. It says, now there is a famine in the land. And. And Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. And famines were very common back then. Famines and droughts.
As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife, Sarai. She's not Sarai yet.
I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, this is his wife.
Then they will kill me, but will let you live.
Say you are my sister so that I will be treated well for your sake. And my life will be spared because of you.
When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman.
When the pharaoh's officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And she was taken into his palace.
He treated Abram well for her sake. And Abram acquired sheep and cattle. Male and female donkeys, male and female servants and camels.
But the lord inflicted serious diseases on pharaoh and his household because of Abraham's wife, Sarai.
So Pharaoh summoned Abram.
What have you done to me? He said, why didn't you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, she is my sister? So that I took her to be my wife.
Now, then, here is your wife. Take her and go. Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way with his wife and everything he had.
So here is Abram, who is man of God.
This is why he's. We're learning about him. Freaks out because he's got a pretty wife and thinks that if I go down to Egypt and they find out you're my wife, they're gonna kill me and take you.
So instead, tell them you're my sister so that I can live and they still take her.
And now.
[00:17:29] Speaker B: Well, I don't think. I think he knew that they were gonna take her, period.
He was just trying to save his own rear.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Cause if this is what I'm saying. So if you all.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: The woman you gave me.
[00:17:41] Speaker A: Well, but I guess here's my thing.
If you know where you're going is not going to be beneficial for you and your woman.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Stay away.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Don't go. Right. You know, I mean. Or worst case scenario, make your woman look ugly as I'll get out until, you know.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: But you throw some dirt on her.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what I mean? Hide her face this to me. Just punch her in the jaw.
He was okay so that he would live. He was okay with letting Pharaoh bang his woman.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: He doesn't say he just pimped out his wife.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
I'm like, what the heck? You know? I would not do that for you.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: You know, so. And then here's another thing that kind of is really weird.
So when the Lord inflicts diseases, I think, personally, I mean, I think the Lord should have just told Abram, no, I got you. Don't worry about this. But he didn't. For whatever his reasons are not my story to tell. Just questions I'll ask.
Pharaoh still does not kill Abram. He just says, take your wife and get out of here, you idiot.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So where did the idea come from?
[00:18:59] Speaker A: Where did it even come from that that was gonna happen?
[00:19:02] Speaker B: I don't know. But he pimped out his wife.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: Pimped out his wife. Let another man marry his wife.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
With this man.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Right.
And he's the father of all the nations.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Well, but then he turns around and he bangs some other chick and has more children. So. I mean.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: Yeah, but that was because his wife told him to. Again, stop jumping ahead.
[00:19:25] Speaker B: It will.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: You're gonna give it all away. You don't give away the ending. They're not gonna want to read the book.
So I just found this odd.
That. And again, there's nothing in here that says Abram sinned when he did it.
No, it just says the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh because of a. And here's another thing. Because of Abram's wife, I'm guessing they're not blaming Abrams wife that. But they're just saying because of what happened to Abram's wife is why he's doing it. Because I'm thinking if you were to say it's because of her and blaming her for that, that would be bad juju. I think it's. They're just saying because of what happened to her.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: You know. Yeah, but still. And also, you also got to remember now, there. There's not a lot of talk about sin right now anyway, because the law has not been given.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:27] Speaker A: So that. That comes later. Stay tuned.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: That could be why we're not seeing that in there.
[00:20:33] Speaker A: And that's what I'm saying. So all these things are happening, and God really hasn't created the law yet. He's kind of letting people be people.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: He's watching them mess up so he can make his list and check it twice.
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
So anyway. Okay, so now we're gonna jump to Genesis 16.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: How many are we doing this episode?
[00:20:57] Speaker A: This will probably be the last one. Cause I don't wanna bore you.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: All people to sleep.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't want to do that. That's going to be three. Okay.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: Sweet. Oh, wait, let me make it bigger. Stop it.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: So now we get to the wise perspective. Well, yeah, this is kind of coming from. Speaking of which, you jumped ahead right to the next one, so perfect timing. You're welcome. Yeah. So if we actually start at the beginning of the story, we're gonna talk about Sarai and Abram. Cause they could not have kids. They tried. And Sarai was just barren. But she did have a egyptian slave that.
The name was Sammy Ha. Right?
[00:21:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: You're so funny, Sammy Hagar.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: I'm hoping that she did not try to allow Sammy Hagar to give birth.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: Oh, so her name was Hagar.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: I don't think that happened back then any more than it happens now.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
So she had a slave named Hagar.
We'll just call her Sammy.
[00:22:07] Speaker B: Dear God.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: So. And then she said to Abram, the Lord has kept me from having children, so go sleep with my slave. Perhaps I can build a family through her.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: I wonder if that's because of what happened.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: As far as what happened in when.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: He pimped her out.
I wonder if that was part of.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: Their punishment, was that she couldn't have kids.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: But why would God punish her for that?
[00:22:36] Speaker B: It's more of a punishment towards Abraham.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: Abram.
[00:22:39] Speaker B: Abram.
[00:22:40] Speaker A: He's not Abraham yet.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: And it could be no wonder Sarai is the one who suffered because she really wanted kids. Crazy woman, says a woman of four kids.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: I know.
[00:22:52] Speaker A: And she has a crazy woman. But anyway, right? Yeah. So she couldn't. So she wanted a family so bad that she's like, go sleep with my slave. Because they didn't have. In retro. At the time, there was no artificial insemination. It was all natural.
You had to do the deed to plant the seed.
[00:23:14] Speaker B: And don't you let that stuff drip.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Don't drip.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Don't put it on.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: I don't like getting the dress.
So Abraham agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai, this is so. This is ten years later, Sarai, his wife, took her egyptian slave, Sammy Hagar, and gave her to her husband to be his wife.
[00:23:42] Speaker B: Wait, so after he. After she said, go have some.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: No, they did not wait ten years. It's just saying this is what happened. And they're saying, so after ten years of living there, this happened.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:23:55] Speaker A: They're giving you the time frame that.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: I hate when they do that.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: Okay, well, so. And he slept with Hagar, and she conceived.
[00:24:04] Speaker B: Of course she did. Terrible.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: So again, here we are with a guy marrying two women and.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: But they're not married, are they?
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
Gave her to her husband to be his wife.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: Oh, to be his wife. I missed that one. Yeah, I skipped right over and I got excited about the sex.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
So there you have it.
Now, funny thing is, when.
If you go back, I believe.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: Don't be jacking us up now.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: You don't have a touchscreen, do you?
[00:24:50] Speaker B: No, sir.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: Okay, make. Make a big please somewhere in here.
Scroll down.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Yes, sir.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Keep going.
Because I think I want to say this is. Bring me a heifer after.
Oh. Anyway, doesn't really matter. It's not important.
So. Yeah, there you go. Another instance of. I was trying to remember if this was before or after God told him he. He was going to give them a son. And he would name him Isaac and he'll be the father of all nations. I want to say this was after that, because I think part of the reason that Sarai did this was because she's like, I know the Lord said, but I'm old and I can't do it. So here, take my young slave. And so, anyway, sounds right to me.
[00:25:47] Speaker B: But it's been a while.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: Another instance where, again, a man takes two wives in the Old Testament, doesn't say it's a sin. And remember, God had not given the law yet. So technically, the only law he had given at this time was do not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And we done screwed that seven ways from Sunday. So that was the only law he had given us at this time. Still.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah, it's the only law. But he did say to.
Did he say it already about basically procreate?
[00:26:28] Speaker A: Yeah, go forth and multiply. Yeah, that was that way at the beginning.
[00:26:31] Speaker B: So.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: And that's what we're doing. We're multiplying.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: We're multiplying. And they went forth and I think fifth and 6th.
And that could be why there's the.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: There's no problem with all this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So keep in mind there's a lot going on back in the day, you know, back in Monday.
Yeah.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: We need to get you night eight.
[00:26:58] Speaker A: Is that what it is?
[00:26:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:01] Speaker B: Functioning on 4 hours of sleep is not good for you.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: No, but at least I'm functioning.
[00:27:07] Speaker B: That is very true.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: So we're gonna end it here. Just give you some little tidbits to think on. You know, this is kind of the stuff that happened before God actually gave the laws.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: You ready to Moses?
[00:27:19] Speaker A: And yes, you can shut her down.
So we will pick up Genesis again next time we do an episode about this.
And until that time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and God bless you forgot to say. What did I forget to say?
[00:27:41] Speaker B: Comments.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Oh, so, yeah, if you got comments, especially my boy the theologian, hit us up at
[email protected] comments section below. Hit the, like, hit the. Subscribe. There's a little ding dong bell down there that you can, and it'll notify you when a new episode comes out. We're trying to get back on track. We had a lot of issues there for a while that prevented us for a couple months, but we're trying to get back on track.
Or visit us on Facebook at the Kinky Christian podcast and comment there. Love to hear from you. So now we can say goodbye, right?
[00:28:24] Speaker B: I think so.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: All right. Peace. Love to y'all.
