Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Pat. Join me as I share with you my life and how I'm able to explore kinky sex in a christian environment.
[00:00:23] Hello again, all you beautiful people, and welcome back to another episode of the Kinky Christian podcast. I'm your host, Pat. And today we're going to talk about a subject that's not so much about kink.
[00:00:39] And we'll do know this ain't gonna be just a strictly sex podcast, but this subject is kind of near and dear to my heart, and it's about being shamed.
[00:00:51] Now, I want to talk about this because it happens so much in our society, and it's something that doesn't really get brought up enough, in my opinion, because it's not cool. It's not cool no matter how you look at it.
[00:01:11] Shaming somebody for any reason, it's just bullying, and I'm not okay with that. So today, I just kind of want to touch on shaming and how it affects people.
[00:01:27] So shaming, in my opinion, is done for a variety of reasons, but the ones that I want to kind of focus on today, a lot of people try to shame people because they're trying to control them.
[00:01:47] And let me give you an example of that.
[00:01:51] When someone does something for, let's just say, for instance, if you're a Christian such as myself, and someone doesn't like what you're doing or disagrees with what you're doing, they always try to say something like, well, a good Christian wouldn't do that, or a good Christian wouldn't think that way.
[00:02:12] They try to make you feel ashamed for what you're thinking, feeling, or doing. And that's just their way of trying to get you to do what they want you to do.
[00:02:24] Now, that's just an example. It happens in other things other than Christianity.
[00:02:30] Friends may not like somebody that you're dating or someone you're married to or the job you have or your lifestyle. And so they all try to.
[00:02:45] I shouldn't say all, but there are friends, I have a few myself, that try to convince you by shaming you that you're wrong and you should feel or think the way they think.
[00:03:01] Now, it's okay to think differently. It's okay to feel differently. That's what makes this world go round. This is what keeps things exciting, is differences, and we should look at them differences and try to understand them.
[00:03:22] It's not something that should set us apart enough to where we feel we have to be negative and shame someone about our differences.
[00:03:33] Some people like to shame people because they're ashamed of something themselves.
[00:03:39] And I've experienced that, too.
[00:03:42] If someone is feeling a certain way, let's say, for instance, you have a friend who either cheated on their spouse or wants to cheat on their spouse or something, and you bring up something and say, you're married, and you say, oh, that's a pretty lady right there.
[00:04:04] You shouldn't be saying that because you're a married man, or they might feel ashamed of what they're feeling. So they're going to try to make you feel ashamed for something just to kind of make themselves feel better.
[00:04:19] Which is another reason why I believe people shame people is they're trying to make themselves feel better, trying to elevate themselves by knocking someone else down, when in reality, we should be just trying to elevate ourselves by being better people.
[00:04:40] Trying to tear someone down is never a good way to make yourself feel better. It's not.
[00:04:50] And being a Christian, I have been a victim of this myself with the church.
[00:04:57] When you get into the lifestyle like this, and it's something other than missionary position and strict, this is how you do it. End of story.
[00:05:14] You start doing that and people, you start talking to your christian friends and they look at you weird and they're like, oh, God wouldn't approve, and a good Christian shouldn't do that, and that's a sin.
[00:05:28] When in reality, I have yet to find anything in the Bible that says that.
[00:05:36] So it's just their ignorance coming through.
[00:05:41] Instead of trying to learn about something and trying to understand something, they try to make people feel ashamed for feeling it or doing it or a decision they've made.
[00:05:57] And it's not okay.
[00:06:01] It can really affect people.
[00:06:06] And it's not just sexually. I mean, people shame us over everything.
[00:06:11] If you're overweight, if you're underweight, if you're bald, I mean, come on now.
[00:06:19] Sexually, they do it.
[00:06:22] If your penis ain't as large as a horse or your boobs aren't as big as watermelons, or there's a lot of body shaming that happens not just with sexual parts, but just regular body parts.
[00:06:38] And I think that's wrong.
[00:06:42] I think that's just a horrible thing to do.
[00:06:45] I was born with green eyes.
[00:06:49] I developed a hairy body.
[00:06:52] I'm not some super large, well hung guy.
[00:06:57] Need I say more? I mean, come on now. I didn't choose to lose my hair, but yet people like to shame us because of that.
[00:07:07] And I just think that's wrong.
[00:07:10] They'll shame us for our personalities if we're a little weird or a little different. Well, you don't act normal or something's a little off with that person.
[00:07:22] Again, that's who we are.
[00:07:26] They'll shame us because of our intelligent level.
[00:07:31] How many times have you asked a question to somebody because you truly didn't understand it, and they look at you and what are you, stupid?
[00:07:41] Well, no, I'm not stupid. I just don't know. So that's why I'm asking.
[00:07:49] There's a million different things that we get shamed over. I mean, you can pick anything you want, and I'm sure somebody has shamed someone over it.
[00:08:00] To make matters worse, now we live in an age where everybody is connected through the Internet, and so that means anybody can hide behind a monitor and say whatever they want to say without any repercussions to themselves because they're not face to face with someone.
[00:08:25] I don't condone violence at all by any stretch of the imagination, but back when I was growing up, we didn't have that. So if you wanted to shame somebody, you took the risk of getting punched in the face. I'm not saying I did that myself. Not saying I didn't. Just not saying I did.
[00:08:45] But when you take the consequences out of the equation, people just go about their business and don't care or think about what they're doing.
[00:08:55] And the Internet has made it worse. Internet bullying is just running rampant. It's an epidemic.
[00:09:04] And it's because people don't face the consequences for what they're doing. So they've shamed people into committing suicide.
[00:09:13] I just have a severe problem with that. It just bothers me.
[00:09:18] So what I want to kind of get my point across here is we're all different.
[00:09:29] We don't choose everything about us now. Yes, I got a few extra pounds on me. I could get in better shape. I could lose some weight.
[00:09:41] However, my choice right now is to not do that. And that's my choice.
[00:09:48] I shouldn't be shamed for that choice.
[00:09:54] I didn't choose to lose my hair. I didn't choose my green eyes. I didn't choose body hair.
[00:10:03] I should not have to defend.
[00:10:08] And that's what you feel like when you're being shamed. At least I do that. You have to defend that stuff.
[00:10:15] Or some people just jump on the bandwagon and make fun of themselves in an attempt to diffuse the situation, which then also can hurt that person inside.
[00:10:28] Now I have no problems making fun of myself.
[00:10:32] I'm happy go lucky.
[00:10:34] But there are those who do it just as a defense mechanism and it hurts.
[00:10:41] So instead of shaming people, why don't we all come together? Let's all kind of make a pact right now. Let's all come together.
[00:10:53] And instead of using those words to destroy, let's use those words to encourage, let's try to build people up. Instead of tearing them down, let's feed into people.
[00:11:12] Now, don't confuse shaming with calling out poor actions and poor choices. I believe we should gracefully call out poor choices. If someone's messing with a child or cheating on their spouse, I mean, those are poor decisions. Don't shame them because of them, but call them out. I mean, these are things that need to be dealt with.
[00:11:40] Same if someone's shaming, call that out.
[00:11:44] Call them out, but be graceful about it. Have a little grace, a little mercy.
[00:11:51] And don't just call them out and you're doing wrong, you're evil.
[00:11:58] Point out a better way. Point out a more positive way and offer your help to get them there.
[00:12:04] If it's a violent situation, get authorities involved.
[00:12:10] I know cops kind of have a bad rap nowadays, but the vast majority of them are good people trying to help the community.
[00:12:20] So get them involved. Take steps so people don't get hurt, physically, emotionally, psychologically, because that stuff lasts forever.
[00:12:32] I can sit right now and I can think back to when I was a child, which was only a couple of years ago.
[00:12:40] I can remember things that people did to me that really made me feel ashamed of myself. And it leaves a mark on you.
[00:12:48] So let's come together as a community and let's try to eliminate that.
[00:12:55] What I will say is, I have noticed I've only been in the lifestyle and in the community for a couple of years now, and it is one of the most loving and accepting communities out there.
[00:13:15] We have people of all races, colors, sizes, you name it. We're together. And no one shames anybody.
[00:13:27] No one judges anyone. If they do, I've yet to see it.
[00:13:32] Other than predators and bullies on the Internet, the people I've interacted with face to face, the vast, vast majority of them, have been so inclusive and loving. It just does my heart good.
[00:13:52] We don't need more evil in this world.
[00:13:56] We're ashamed of so many things ourselves without people pointing out more.
[00:14:02] And that's something we need to deal with on our own.
[00:14:06] But we all have stuff we're ashamed of. We don't need people just piling on and piling on and piling on.
[00:14:15] So let's try to come together let's try to encourage, let's try to build people up. Let's do our best not only to make this a better community, but just a better world in general.
[00:14:33] So till next time, people, take care of yourself and each other.
[00:14:40] Stay safe. God bless.
[00:15:01] Thank you.
