Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everyone.
[00:00:00] Speaker B: I'm Jane. I'm Kitten.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: As you know, my name is Pat. It's that time again. It's time for another episode of the Kinky Kristen podcast.
You know, I had this cute idea for an intro the other night when I was Couldn't sleep.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: And I can't remember what it was.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Oh, don't you hate that?
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it was really cool and I was going to use it to, like, bring us in.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: And it was just super cool.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: Super cool should have been in your head.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: Yeah. But anyway, so since we don't have a super cool intro, we'll just say, hey, it's us.
So if you're hearing our voices or watching us, then you know that you found us at the Kinky Christian podcast. Yay. Yay. Yes. Right? Yay you.
[00:00:58] Speaker B: Yay you.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Yay you.
I'm your host, Pat, and with me, as always, is.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Kitten.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: And today we're going to talk about the evolution of, like, relationships and dating, if that makes sense.
[00:01:22] Speaker B: So we can't talk about the way, way back because we weren't there?
[00:01:26] Speaker A: No, we can't. Well, we can talk about it because, I mean, I know how my parents met, and I know there's a lot.
If you stop and think about just the evolution of relationships. And this is kind of the reason we're doing this is we're doing kind of a couple episodes on the Internet and the impact the Internet has made on life in general, but in sex and lifestyles and that. So.
But if you go way back, I mean, through history, relationships actually started out. I don't know if they started out, but there's a lot of arranged marriages.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Right.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: So still are. There still are, but not as many as.
At least, I don't think there's as many as back in the day.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Yeah, probably not.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: I mean, who knows?
[00:02:27] Speaker B: Different times.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: Different times. And a lot of cultures that used to do arranged marriages, a lot of the women are standing up and saying, oh, hell no, we ain't doing that no more.
[00:02:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And getting killed for it. But, you know, that's.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: Some do.
Some come to America and say, yeah, shopping.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Yay. Yeah.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: So when you look back and you see how relationships were back then, you know, with arranged marriages that were done for a purpose, it wasn't about love. Hopefully, either love the person they're arranging to, or you learn to love them, or at least you could tolerate them.
That usually wasn't the case from my understanding, but again, I wasn't there.
And that lasted for Quite a while. And then you get to where you meet each other because of family. It's not an arranged marriage, but it's a lot of, like.
I don't want to use the word pushing, but a lot of guiding you.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Towards who they thought was your right choice.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: Correct.
So, hey, you know, have you met Mrs. Jones's daughter? She is really nice. And we're gonna, you know, take you over and we're gonna. So you. You had that era.
Then things started going to where relationships were more developing in, like, high school.
High school became the big thing. You know, you look at the 50s and the 60s and that, and a lot of high school sweethearts. You know, that's kind of where the term came from. High school sweethearts.
Then, like, my parents. I mean, they met back then, too, in the, like, 40s.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: Sweetheart times.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And the sweetheart times. I like that.
And they met.
Oh, look, you may get to see Morpheus.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: How fortunate are you?
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah, they met at what they used to call mixers, you know, where there is a lot of.
He's catting. He just knocked the camera lens cover on the floor and broke it, I think.
So anyway.
Sorry.
They had, like, a lot of clubs back then, and my mom was a member of the club called the Ladybugs, and my dad was in the Cooties.
I know, but.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Cause boys have cooties.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Boys usually. Yes.
And they would get the two groups together and do mixers with them, and that's how they met, was at one of these mixers.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: Then I think my parents met with the gangs.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: With the gangs?
[00:05:46] Speaker B: The bike gangs.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: He was a Hell's angel and she was a. Or like Grease the Pink Ladies and the T Birds.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: It was something like that. I'm not entirely sure, but I know my dad was on the biker gang.
[00:06:03] Speaker A: And your mom was not.
Then how did they meet?
[00:06:09] Speaker B: She was hanging. I don't know.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: Hanging at the biker bars.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: Probably knowing her.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Then you get to, you know, after the. Like in our time, you did a lot of high school dating.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: Yeah, middle school dating.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Middle school. And started getting into middle school. But then we also did a lot of friend hookups.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: You know, bros before hoes. Right, right.
But there's a lot of. Hey, you know, I got a friend. Kind of the blind date era, I guess, is what you call it.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: Yeah, a lot of that back then.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: A lot of blind dates. You know, I got a friend that I think would be perfect for you. So we're kind of going back to where the parents would shoo you in One direction, but now it's your friends shooing you in a direction.
Just like we met, we met through a mutual friend.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: Right.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: You know, and we did not want to meet.
[00:07:02] Speaker B: Nope. Didn't want nothing to do at all.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: So it's a miracle we're even here right now, because the mutual friend was actually an ex girlfriend of my brother's. Well, hey, Morph. How are you?
You come to break more stuff.
So it was an ex girlfriend of my brother's who kept hanging around and kept wanting us to meet. And as I did everything I could to not meet her, to not meet you.
[00:07:41] Speaker B: For shame. For shame.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: Well, but on the flip side, she kept trying to get you to come over to my house.
[00:07:47] Speaker B: I didn't want no part of that.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: And you wanted no part of it.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: So it took, what, about a year or so?
[00:07:53] Speaker B: No, not on my end. No.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: No.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: It was probably only a few weeks that she tried to get me.
[00:08:00] Speaker A: Oh, really? Cause I heard about you for about a year.
Not to meet you, but she always, you know. Oh, my friend Melissa. My friend Melissa. My friend Melissa. So I heard about you all the time.
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, no. It was probably just a couple times that she asked, I think.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: She didn't talk about y'all. I mean, she talked about.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Oh, that hurts.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: She talked about Tim. Cause that was her boyfriend, X.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Well, not in her mind.
[00:08:31] Speaker B: Not in her mind, no.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: But yeah, so there's a lot of friends, you know, hooking people up.
And bars became big, so there's a lot of clubs. And different than clubs. My parents were in a lot of clubs, dance clubs, nightclubs.
And a lot of the bar scene was. Was big as we were getting, you know, we were already together, but it was. It was really kind of picking up momentum after we got together and then.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: And then.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: And then the Internet.
So we're going to spend some time kind of focused on the Internet because I feel, and I believe Kitten agrees, that the Internet, for all the good it's done, has done more damage to relationships than any of the other previous methods of meeting and dating and having a relationship.
I know we might take some flack for this, and that's okay. You know, everyone has their own opinions and their own views, and you can say, oh, you're just old. We. We did not.
[00:09:53] Speaker B: We are old.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: We are old. The Internet was not a thing. We were alive before the Internet.
So it is.
Well, before the Internet became big, our children were alive.
So before we had home Internet, when it was just the military Applications, you know.
But as the Internet was introduced, I found. At first I thought it was kind of a neat thing because you could meet someone online, you could talk to people from other countries, you could interact in ways that you could never interact before.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: And what I had hoped and what I envisioned was not that we were looking for anyone, but if you met someone online, then to me, the next step.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: Meet him in person.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Somewhere along the way, that part got lost. And I don't know how. I don't know why.
I don't get it. But now we're at a point where 100% of relationships can be had online. You know what I mean? I'm not saying every 100% of relationship, but there are relationships where 100% of it is online.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: If that makes. Does that make sense? Am I getting it out? Not 100% of relationships happen online, but there are relationships that 100% of it is online.
[00:11:43] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't get how that can work personally, because first off, I'm a physical person.
[00:11:50] Speaker A: You are. I can touch you.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: Yeah, that's not what I meant. Oh, meaning I like physical.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: Physical touch. Yes.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: So I don't see how a relationship can blossom when it's just 100% Internet.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: Yeah. And so, again, I'm not trying to bash the Internet, so don't take it like I am.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: No, we're not.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: But when you have 100% of your relationship online, where is the intimacy?
[00:12:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: You know, where is the connection? Because if it's 100% online, there's zero physical between you and the other person.
At most, you can get a sex toy where you can control it over the Internet or something, but that's still a sex toy that is just being controlled by someone else, you know? So when you look at. Let's kind of look at the evolution of the Internet and relationships.
I remember when it started, everyone got online and was going into chat rooms. Chat rooms were big.
Chat rooms were there basically just for you to fool around and not have to deal with any repercussions. You didn't know who you were talking to. You could have been talking to someone who said they were a woman and they were a man or vice versa. You could have been talking to someone two blocks away and they said they were from Europe. You didn't know. But it didn't matter at the time because it was so new and so exciting. People just did it.
[00:13:30] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:13:32] Speaker A: Then as the Internet grew, I mean. Oh, think about it. That's how they did the whole show Catfish. Yes.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: That's exactly how they did the catfish.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: You know, because people get online and say there's someone and you develop these relationships and you never meet in person.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: And then it gets so hurt. Oh, it breaks my heart when I see that show.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: Well, especially because the one who's being catfished is emotionally vested in that relationship. And the one who's catfishing is half the time is not.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: No.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: So then we moved past that and we went into like dating websites.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: Swipe right and left.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: Well, that's coming later.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: Next one.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: So dating websites started popping up and you could meet someone for anywhere from a hookup, they had hookup websites to, you know, looking for love and looking for a husband. And we actually have very good friends that met through one of these websites, are now married, two beautiful kids and been married for 15 years now, I think so. So wonderful things. Right. But again, they met on online and then met in person.
Now we're at a point where relationships have. Were a swipe, swipe left, swipe right. You know, sometimes if you're lucky if get, you know, your swipes match, sometimes they'll hook up, sometimes not.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: You know, sometimes you'll meet and you still don't connect. And at least you.
[00:15:12] Speaker A: At least you met.
[00:15:12] Speaker B: You met.
[00:15:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:14] Speaker B: You know that it's a real person.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Yep. But when you sit there, and especially in the.
The kink community, I see this a lot. And again, not bashing, not hating, but their entire thing they go into, whether it be like a fetlife type of thing, meet a dom or a partner or whatever, a sub, do the entire relationship online. They collar each other online and four months later, they ghost.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
And somebody's ultimately devastated.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
How can that be good in any way, shape or form?
[00:16:05] Speaker B: You know, I don't think it can be.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: So.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: I mean, you're gonna get hurt in a real life physical relationship.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Yes, you can.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: But at least you know what you're facing when you're doing it online. You have no idea what you're facing. Could they be who they say they are? Yes.
I mean, you can video, you can get together, you know, through your videos and zoom meetings and all of that fun stuff, but you don't get a true sense of who they are.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: You can't.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Interaction, I don't think.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: I don't know. I can be anyone I want to be online.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: Yes, you can.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: I mean, in all honesty, the police.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: Do it all the time, right?
[00:16:55] Speaker A: They do. They produce things online all the time and lie.
That's a whole nother. Podcast.
But in reality, even us right here, right now, we could be totally fake in what we're saying and nobody would know unless you know, who we are. You know, now we're not. You know, we're 100% authentic, and we put our hearts out because we want to share and teach and learn and connect.
But I'm just saying, in reality, even on a podcast like this, not just Internet dating, but in any way, shape, or form on the Internet, you do not know the person that's there unless you are part of their physical life and interact with them, interact with the people they interact with, get to know who they are, get to know who their family is, get to know who their friends are, and. And begin to paint a more complete picture of the individual.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: So, yeah. I mean, for all the good the Internet has done, I think it has really hurt relationships because it has turned them into, like, less physically intimate and not.
Not as much of a, like, spiritual connection, I guess, is. You know what I mean?
[00:18:39] Speaker B: Yeah. That's good.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: Does that make sense?
[00:18:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: So you guys got to be careful out there.
You get tied up in these doms, and from a sub perspective.
And when you submit yourself.
Yes. You do your vetting. I get that.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: But on the Internet, you can only vet so much.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Exactly. And when you submit yourself, you're opening yourself up to this person.
And that's why I think the subs get crushed so much, is because they're extremely vulnerable, and they're being vulnerable to someone who isn't being authentic.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
And it's so easy nowadays to ghost somebody.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Just stop talking to them, block their doors.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: I mean, you can do so much now to just ghost someone, whereas back in our day in school, you know, if I broke up with you, I'm gonna see you that next day at school.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: That's right. You know, and we're gonna have some words.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: And we're gonna have some words. So you. You have to take responsibility.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Yep. There's no responsibility.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: There's no. Yeah. People take no responsibility. There's no accountability. No. They're like. It's blocked. Done. You know, so now I get it. Different times doesn't always make it better times, but it is different times. You know, it's different times with us than with our parents and, you know, different times with them than their parents. I get it. You know, we move on, but that doesn't mean the path we're following is always better than the path we came from.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: Agreed.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: So does that make sense?
[00:20:35] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: Just because we're moving ahead doesn't mean we're actually moving forward, if that, you know.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Yep, I follow you. Will they follow you? I don't know.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: I don't know.
Anyway, so we just kind of wanted to touch on that. And our next.
We're kind of doing a, like I said, like a two parter. I. I think it's only going to be two parts. We might do another one. Depends on how it goes. But we're going to touch on the Internet again and what it's done to change the adult content.
Availability.
Accessibility.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: Accessibility.
[00:21:23] Speaker A: And we've actually talked to some of our listeners who are much younger than us and got their input because they grew up knowing the Internet. They did not. No life without the Internet. So we're gonna kind of look at how we grew up and how they grew up. So.
Yeah. Check us next time in.
Well, it might be next time we might do another Bible one in between.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: We'll probably do a Bible one in.
[00:21:56] Speaker A: Between because we kind of want to keep that ball rolling too.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: It's a big book.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: It's a big book and it talks about sex a lot.
Well, this next part is. The next one's gonna get kind of controversial. But anyway, so. But we're gonna. We're gonna talk about the Internet and how it's changed access to adult material.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Sounds good.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: Sound good.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: Sounds.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: So until next time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other and go.
