[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Pat. Join me as I share with you my life and how I'm able to explore kinky sex in a christian environment.
[00:00:23] Beautiful people. Welcome back to another episode of the Kinky Christian podcast. As you know, I'm your host, Pat, and today we are going to be talking about something that I'm not as well versed on that I wish I was. I was hoping to have more of a professional here when I discuss this topic, but I still have yet to find someone willing to come on my podcast. Go figure, right?
[00:00:52] Who would have thought that I'd have troubles finding christians who want to talk about kinky sacks anyway? They don't have to be christian. Even if I can just find experts to come on a newbie podcast, that would be great.
[00:01:05] So today's subject is going to be on sub frenzy.
[00:01:11] Now, a lot of you may be asking sub frenzy, what the heck is sub frenzy? Well, that is a good question.
[00:01:20] So I am going to do my best today to try to explain to you everything that I know about sub frenzy, what it is, what causes it, what you can do about it, and see if we can clear this muddied water a little bit. Hopefully in a later episode, I'll be able to find an expert to come on and we can really dig into this. But for now, I'm going to share what little bit I know.
[00:01:47] So sub frenzy is something that happens when you're in the lifestyle, the bdsm lifestyle, and you realize that you have these feelings that you want to try all this new stuff sexually.
[00:02:14] Not only do you want to try all this new stuff, but you feel these feelings that you want to be submissive to someone. And by that, I mean you want to have someone kind of dominate you, whether it be just in the bedroom. You can be dominated in a bunch of ways. And we'll talk about power exchange relationships later in another episode. But you want to have someone just take control and kind of have their way with you to a point.
[00:02:45] And when you first discover these feelings in you, a lot of people don't know what to do with them.
[00:02:53] And it's kind of like a drug.
[00:02:57] You take a drug and it makes you feel good and you want that feeling again. So then you go out and you search for that drug again. Then you find it and you take it. Then it makes you feel better, and it just kind of snowballs until you become addicted to this drug. And if any of you know anything about addictions, whether it be to drug or pornography or whatever, if you know anything about addictions, you know, it tends to take control of you, not just physically, but, like, psychologically and emotionally and spiritually. It can grab you and just hold on to you.
[00:03:38] What happens then is that even though you know things are wrong, things that you're doing are wrong. The decisions you're making are wrong, and you know that they can cause damage to yourself and other people.
[00:03:55] You still make poor decisions and do things just in an attempt to feed this desire that you're having.
[00:04:07] And that's why it's called a frenzy, because in your mind you'll be saying, yes, I know it's wrong to stick this needle in my arm and do these drugs, but it makes me feel so good, and you do it anyway.
[00:04:19] And that's what sub frenzy does, is it causes these adrenaline and endorphins and all these chemicals in your body to go nuts, and it just makes you kind of go wild.
[00:04:36] I am not going to say the problem, but one of the biggest problems with this is the consequences that can happen from these decisions and actions that you make.
[00:04:49] And I'm saying this from firsthand experience, because when I first got into this lifestyle with my wife, she's one who brought me into this. This was not led by me, this was led by her.
[00:05:07] And she realized at first, she's like, I kind of want to experiment with BDsm. And I'm like, okay, we can do that.
[00:05:16] Well, that led to more experimentation. Then it led to deeper experimentation. So we went from spanking with my hand and pulling hair to she wanted to be choked, which is very uncomfortable for me anyway, because you can do a lot of damage that way. Then she wanted to get floggers and crops and paddles, and then she wanted to be tied up. And that's when she realized she's a submissive and she wants to be dominated.
[00:05:52] Well, I didn't know that. I had no clue. I did not know that that was even a thing being brought up in my christian environment.
[00:06:02] They don't explain this stuff to you, and I wish they would. That's kind of why I'm doing this podcast, is so you understand that this stuff is out there and it's going to possibly come into your life at some time.
[00:06:17] So when she told me she wanted me to be her dom, her dominant, and she wanted to be my sub, my submissive, I had to kind of research what that meant and poor decision on my part, I kind of told her, well, you tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it to you. Well, that kind of defeats the purpose.
[00:06:42] That's topping from the bottom, and that's not what she wanted to do. And I'll explain that phrase some other time. But anyway, I let her take the lead, and she didn't want the lead. She wanted me to lead.
[00:06:54] Well, she ended up going down a path of sub frenzy because I was not meeting the needs that she had. So she got online and she ended up having an affair online with another guy.
[00:07:11] That is what sub frenzy was doing the whole time she was doing it. She knew that what she was doing was wrong. I mean, she even told the guy, this is wrong.
[00:07:20] But she still continued to do it because she craved it.
[00:07:26] And once I found out about it, she denied having the affair, even though I saw everything.
[00:07:37] And she tried to place all the blame on me and continued to do what she was doing, which, I mean, some of the blame is my fault. It's a two way street. It's never just one person's fault.
[00:07:52] So she continued to do what she was doing. And that led us to the point of almost getting a divorce.
[00:08:00] Fortunately for us, we found a good therapist who specializes in this area. And she helped us to understand what sub frenzy was. She helped my wife to understand what she did. She helped me to understand my part in it all and what I was doing. So we were able to come through this stronger than ever. And now we're happily together. I am her master, and she is thrilled to death with the lifestyle that we have.
[00:08:37] So sub frenzy also, I want to let you know that sub frenzy mostly affects new subs, ones that are just now discovering what it is they're feeling and don't have the information and don't have mentors to guide them or don't have an experienced dom or master to come along and show them what it is.
[00:09:08] So they just run amok.
[00:09:12] There's no one there to guide them, no boundaries holding them in. They tend to get on the Internet, which is good and bad. The Internet is a great thing if used properly, but it's also full of predators.
[00:09:27] And this is what happened to my wife and what happens to most new subs when they're in sub frenzy. They get on the Internet and these predators find out that, hey, here's a new one, and they will take advantage of those new subs.
[00:09:42] They come in like they're experienced. They come in and do anything they can, don't respect the boundaries that are set forth, don't respect the sub and what they're doing. Even when the sub is saying that they need to stop. They continue to push, and there are tons of predators out there. And that's what happened with my wife.
[00:10:06] A couple of people got a hold of her and kind of strong armed her into doing what she didn't want to do.
[00:10:14] Even though she said no. Now it's still on her for saying okay, eventually, but when you're in that euphoric state, like I said, it's like being on a drug, so you're not thinking properly.
[00:10:29] And that's when you need someone experienced to come alongside of you and help you calm down. And that's what our therapist did for us.
[00:10:39] So it's mostly the new subs that do that. However, there are experienced subs that it will happen to them later in life. If it didn't happen early on, it might happen later, or maybe they took a break and now the feelings are coming back strong and they get into it or whatever reason, but it does happen to experience subs.
[00:11:04] And even though it's called sub frenzy, it can happen to doms too.
[00:11:12] A dominant can get so caught up in being dominant that he does things he shouldn't be doing. It's not quite as often. It's a lot more rare for it to happen to a dom because most doms have to maintain control at all times. That's just part of being an experienced dom and a good dom. You have to stay in control because overall you're the one who's responsible for everything that happens.
[00:11:47] The sub is kind of the one in control overall because they can say no and stop things at any time. And they're the ones who dictate how much control they give to a dom.
[00:12:00] But the dom is responsible for everything that happens. So the dom has to be aware of their own faculties and know where they are. So the frenzy doesn't happen quite as often with dom, but it can happen.
[00:12:19] So in a nutshell, sub frenzy is an addiction.
[00:12:27] It takes over, it grabs you and it pulls you along. You're just kind of caught in the current and you make decisions and do things that you normally wouldn't do if you were in your right mind.
[00:12:45] With all the chemicals flowing through your body and all the hormones, it just throws things off kilter.
[00:12:54] So my advice, if you feel like you're experiencing this, seek help.
[00:13:04] Find someone who knows what they're doing. Find a mentor, find a therapist, find someone in the lifestyle who's been through it. Talk to other subs, do something to seek help. Don't let it tear you apart. Don't let it. Ruin any relationship that you're in and don't let people bully you and force you into doing things that you do not want to do or that you are not comfortable doing. Remember, as a sub, it's your control that you're allowing and giving your giftingness to a dom, to a dominant, to another person. It's a gift that you are giving them and they need to respect that gift. They need to respect you and they need to respect your boundaries that you set for this to happen.
[00:14:00] Always vet your dogs well. Always check them out. Do everything you can to find out everything about them before you do anything with them.
[00:14:10] That's the best thing you can do.
[00:14:13] So if you have any more questions, email me.
[email protected] I am going to do my best to find an expert on this and get them in an episode at a later time and I'm going to find some resources maybe that I can get out there for people because sub frenzy is a dangerous thing and it can cause a lot of damage.
[00:14:42] So until next time people stay safe, take care of each other and God bless.
