[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everybody, welcome to the Kinky Christian podcast. I'm Pat.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: And I'm James. And we're going to explore Christianity and kink and how and when they intersect.
[00:00:11] Speaker A: So hold on for the ride.
Alright, guys, welcome back. I'm Pat.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: And I'm James.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: And this episode, so we are going to be discussing Munches. We're going to kind of talk about what they are, what they're designed for. We're going to give you a little brief history. I didn't do a ton of research, but I'm going to tell you right now, there's a lot out there on munches. If you just go out, Google can be your friend, look at the history of Munches and it's really kind of interesting.
But I know I say I'm a lot, but for our episode, I'm going to give you kind of a brief rundown of what I found and then we want to share kind of our experiences with them.
The term Munch actually started back in 1992 in California. At the beginning of all the Internet things taken off. People wanted to get together and share their love for bdsm and bondage and everything that's going on. Well, back at the time, there wasn't a lot to really, it's not like you could jump on your phone and look up, where's the nearest munch? There was nothing there, but the Internet was just taken off with schools. So a lot of universities had the Internet. And that's where a lot of this started, is in universities.
And in Palo Alto, California, there's a lady named Stella who wanted to have meetings. So basically people could get together and just talk about their fetishes because back then it was kind of underground. So she found this place called Kirk's steak burgers. Kirk's sorry, tongue tied.
And she started having what was called the Palo Alto Burger Munch. And she would go on to the message boards. They did, believe it or not, they had a message board for BDSM. It wasn't called BDsm, but for adult alternative lifestyles. And she posted that she wanted to just get a meeting there and it was called Apollo Alto Burger Munch.
So that started. That took off and started going all over the place. While a lot of people weren't eating burgers, they were going to different places, they were going to pizza places, they were going to other restaurants and bars and hanging out. So they shortened it to just, instead of the burger munch, just the munch. And that's kind of how it all started. So people started having munches all over after a while. I mean, in the 2000s, they kind of started changing them to meet and greets and soirees. And you can call it what you want, but that's where the term munch came from. Did not know that all came from burger Munch. So some information for you.
It's really kind of cool, because when I was researching all this, there was a lot that happened in the beginning with this. I know I'm kind of squirreling here for just a second, but I did not know this. But when they first started, because it's just meant to be a meet and greet. Well, things started kind of getting a little carried away at Kirk steak burgers, and after about a year and a half of being there, they got, the cops called on them because they're, like, spanking each other in public and started doing some stuff. And so they actually called the cops, and they got kicked out of Kirk steak burgers and can no longer meet there. So they had to move someplace else. But, yeah, do some research on it. It's really interesting what you find out. So nowadays, the munch, like I said, it was put together. So people who have this common interest of bdsm and power exchange relationships and all the stuff that goes along with it, it's all the adult lifestyle stuff. They could come together in a safe environment. And even at the first one, it was kind of designed for, like, newbies who they didn't really have a place to go. They didn't have a lot to research and to look up. So they developed the munch so people could come in, in a public place, in a very safe environment, in street clothes, and they're not wearing leather and all that, and talk to others, to other like minded people.
And to this day, it's still kind of. That's what it is. There's munches everywhere. I think there's a website called find a munch.
You can go anywhere, and you can find someplace to go, but it's just for people to come and get together. You can, you can talk about your, your kink, you can talk about what you did last Thursday, you know, with your family. It's a safe environment to just come and educate yourself a little bit and have some community with like minded people.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:05:26] Speaker A: I know when we first, me and my wife got into this, one of the first things that we did was we found a local munch, and it was at a coffee shop, and we showed up there, I got to tell you, I was scared. It was very nerve wracking because you don't know what you're getting into. And when you're new, it can be very scary.
But we went, and the first one we went to, the people were wonderful. There's about 15 people sitting around this table, and the guy who started it years, he'd been running it for like, four or five years, he said, we are now good friends with no one else in there but the guy that who started it, we're good friends with. It was a very safe environment where we just sat and we talked.
So that memory kind of sticks with me as our first true outside exposure on a face to face level with like minded people.
So that was our experience. I don't know what your first munch was like, if you want to share that.
[00:06:50] Speaker B: So there's a lot of misgivings or hesitation about going to a munch or even seeking out a munch, because you feel like these people are going to be very different from you and you're going to end up around a table with some people that you wouldn't want to be around the table with, or you won't be accepted by, or there's going to be some kind of stigma that's going stigma that's going to get in your way. But in the reality, or in reality, when I've been to a munch, overwhelmingly they're some of the most accepting people I've ever met in my life.
I think getting over the hesitation or the fear of going to a munch is probably the hardest thing. Once you get there and you realize how open and accepting these people are, because they, too, were at one point exactly where you were and only wanted information. And so going to a munch and realizing that they were in the same shoes as you were in maybe a year ago, maybe six months ago, maybe ten years ago. But either way, you have some sort of connection with them.
[00:08:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: And that helps a lot.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: That was our biggest fear, is, like you said, because these are strangers. Absolutely, these are strangers.
We knew one person that we had met on a social networking website, so we knew one person, never met her in person, but she said she was going to be there, and she's the one who told us about it. And our anxiety level, man, I got to tell you, James, it was through the roof.
And when we got there, we ordered a coffee, sat down, and you just talk like we weren't even at the beginning. We weren't even talking about our kink. It was just like, hey, who are you? This is.
And how long you been in the lifestyle.
It was so welcoming, so welcoming.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: And a lot of times in the kink lifestyle, you do feel isolated. And getting out there, getting into a munch, you realize that there's a lot of people out there just like you. And it destigmatizes a lot of the things that you see. And even things that you see as negative in movies and tv are not actually negative if done in the right context.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: Yeah, and that's another thing. You hit it. You see movies and tv and even books.
They're not an honest representation of the lifestyle. So we get very programmed to thinking one thing that is not the case at mean.
Is there some of that out there? Yes, but the vast majority, it's not what you see in the movies or on tv or reading books. And when you go to Munch, you'll see these people.
James went to Munch's. We go to munch. I mean, these people are just people.
They're in regular street.
If people were to walk into that coffee shop and see us sitting around a table, it would have looked more like a family reunion.
There's 1015 people there laughing, giggling, having a good time, all in just regular clothes. No one's got a ball gag in their mouth or chains hanging from the ear. It was just people sitting there having a good time, and it creates such a safe environment.
They're in public. They're at restaurants, they're at bars. Like I said, ours is at a coffee shop.
So it was really kind of a nice way for someone who is new to meet up and touch base with someone who's been doing it a while.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: I mean, in all honesty, if I would have met you through your barbershop, I never would have talked to you about this at all.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: Right. And that's typical for most people you meet.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
And that's the thing. I think we got to kind of understand that people in this lifestyle are just people.
It could be your checkout person at the grocery store.
It could be your uber driver. It could be your school teacher.
It can be anybody.
And going to a munch shows that. It just shows that we're all just people, just people trying to meet, socialize. And it is something I know we kind of touched on a little bit off camera, and I kind of want to bring that up. Munches are more of a social gathering.
You can learn a little bit about some things by talking to the people at the munches. You'll get their personal experience and kind of their history and some of the things experienced. But if you're looking for real education on topics, I don't think you're really going to find a lot of that at a munch.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: With one caveat, though. One thing that a munch is great at teaching you is other things that are going on in your community that you may have had no idea were going on because they're not advertised, they're not publicized anywhere. The only way you're going to find out about these events is by going to events, by going to events and meeting people that are also going to these other events. And then you get the invite. And in that way, without the munch, you'd have no way of having access to those things. And some of these things are educational opportunities, some of these things are parties, some of these things are various events.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Social events.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Various social events. Could be.
We've been to a huge picnic. At one point was a big social event, completely.
We call it pg, keep it family friendly. And at that one, there was families. There's everyone there. And it was just a fun get together all the way to the other extreme.
[00:13:27] Speaker A: Like a play party or a.
[00:13:30] Speaker B: Whip demonstration by a guy who's a master at whipping. Yeah, master at whipping people.
That's another thing that you might be invited to that you would never find out without a munch.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: Right. And you're not going to see that stuff on a billboard driving around town.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: Never.
It's even hard to find on the Internet.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: It is.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: I mean, not that I've looked.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: No, never. Right.
We'll pull up your search history later. But that's besides the point.
But, yeah, it's very.
I'm trying to think of the word. I don't want to say educational, but it links you.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: Informative.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: It's very informative there. Perfect word. It's very informative.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: You get information.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: Yeah, information.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: You do get information.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Perfect way to put it. I agree 100%.
And to be honest, I learned, again, drew kind of word of mouth at there. I learned that there were events, and we're going to talk about one of them in another episode, but I learned about events that were going on that do provide education.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: And again, I'm not driving down the street and there's this big billboard that says, hey, do you like whipping your wife? Well, March 22, come to be tons.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Of accidents at that time. Tons of accidents at that time.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: Maybe we should put one out there just to see what happens. But, yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head. You get a lot of information, not the education.
So I guess bottom line is, if you want to kind of connect and network a little bit, meet people who have similar interests, even ones that have, when I say similar interests, I'm talking bdsm and power exchange and the lifestyle.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: But the whole kink subculture.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Right. But, man, I tell you, you get to there and you find people. The interests are extremely varied. Extremely. I mean, there's people who like fireplay, there's people who like blood. There's people who just want to be tied up in different ways and suspended. So there is a lot to talk about, and it's very fascinating when you talk to these people. So if you're looking for community, if you're looking for information, if you're looking to kind of find out what's going on around you, even stuff that's in cities close to you, because people come from all over to these munches, it's not, like, just your neighborhood.
[00:16:24] Speaker B: Well, that's a very big part. A lot of people like anonymity when they go to a munch. And one thing that people will do when they go to a munch is they'll travel to another city other than their own for a lower chance of seeing anybody or interacting with anybody that they know. And then they'll go to a munch, and therefore, they don't have any fear of repercussions with their work or any type of family structure. I mean, these things could be a situation that people will use in custody battles and something like that.
Anonymity and your privacy. Your privacy is very important.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: Yes.
I'm glad you brought that up. I am so glad you brought that up. That is so true. And it's funny you say that, because I'm thinking back now to the first months that me and my wife went to, and when we were talking to the people, over half of them were from out of town.
And I never even gave it a thought. I just thought, oh, well, there must not have been something closer to them. I didn't ask them why they're from out of town, but I bet you a lot of them go for their privacy.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: Well, in today's day and age, with people being fired for what they do online and what they say online, going to one of these things, and you have the chance of seeing a coworker there. And now the situation with kink is being outed is similar to being outed in other areas of your life to where it can completely destroy everything you have. So we don't want that to happen. We want people to do things. It's just like the credo for BBSM, safe, sane and consensual. We want everyone to be safe, sane and consensual so that without your consent, you're not being outed to your boss or without your consent, your kids aren't finding out about where you were, who.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: You were associating with, and to bring it around. I mean, part of the reason we're doing this podcast is because as christians, there's nothing about the BDSM and about doing stuff in a relationship with your spouse and in a God honoring way that's against the Bible. However, christians are some of the worst ones. If they find out that you're into BDsm or anything like that, man, I have seen churches turn on people and yeah, it can get very nasty just from that aspect.
Like I said, that's kind of the reason we started this podcast. Let's bring this out, let's educate people. And I think education is the key. You got to educate people on what people are doing, why they're doing it, and really what it is.
It's not evil, it's not bad. And the stigma that's been associated with it has caused so many problems through the ages. I think it's just time to get it out and talk about it as consensual adults.
So, yeah, munches provide that anonymity. They provide that level of disconnect between you and your everyday life that could be affected by what you do.
So in a nutshell, in a small nutshell, that's what munches are.
I highly encourage you to, if you're new to this and you're looking for a community and you're wanting to just talk to people, find one. Find one in your area and check it out. Give it a try. If you don't like it, there'll be other ones in other areas. And if you're afraid someone's going to see you, find one in the town next to you.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: But go and also make sure you're going to one in a public space so that you have that safety. You know that you're going to a place that's open, well lit, and just make sure you're being safe. Because even though we've said they're safe, there are still just in any other community, there are predators within the kink community.
There just are. It's a fact. So go into everything with your eyes open and cautious and you should be okay.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: Yeah, 100% agree. So with that, we're going to close this one down. And we'll see you guys next time. Stay safe and take care of each other. God bless.
Thanks for giving us a listen. If you want to reach out and touch somebody like me or James, drop us a line at the Kinky Christian
[email protected]. Or if you'd rather, we've got a Facebook page, too. We'd love to hear from you there. The Kinky Christian podcast. So either way you want to do it, we're ready for you. Give us suggestions, comments. Keep them positive, keep them encouraging, and let's keep this ball rolling forward. Thanks. Take care, guys.
