Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everyone, I'm Jane.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: I'm Kitten.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: As you know, my name is Pat. It's that time again. It's time for another episode of the Kinky Christian Podcast.
Then let's do this.
I sound like I want to be like Tone Oak.
Let's do this.
Anyway.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Most people probably don't even know who Tone Loke is, but you should.
Anyway, welcome to our show.
Not the Funky Co Medina show. No, we are the Kinky Christian Podcast, aren't we?
[00:00:45] Speaker B: We are.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: We are. So I'm Pat.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: I'm Kitten.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: And we are going to continue in our journey through the Bible talking about sex, baby.
And you make fun of me.
Anyway, we're going to continue on in Deuteronomy with this episode, and we're going to stay. We're still in Deuteronomy 22, but we're going to jump down to verse 30, 13 through 30 right now.
And this one discusses marriage violations.
So these are things that you can get a ticket for and have to go to court if you.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: You know a little bit about that.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: I never went to court.
I just got pulled over by a jerk cop and had to pay $175.30 and take a class.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah, that was silly.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: That was silly.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Anyway. Anyway, I digress.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: All right. Marriage violations. If a man takes a wife and after sleeping with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity, then the young woman's father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: How do you prove that?
Look, here's. Here's John. John, did you have sex with her? Nope. Here's Bill. Bill, did you ask?
[00:02:27] Speaker B: Especially because some women don't bleed their first time.
[00:02:31] Speaker A: Well, but even so, how do you prove that? How do you prove anything?
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: How do you prove virginity?
[00:02:38] Speaker B: Anyway, Anyway, her father will say to the elders, I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, I did not find your daughter to be a virgin, but here is the proof of my daughter's virginity. Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Oh, look, there you go.
The man gets blasted.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: I wonder if it's the marital bed.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
So now you get your vengeance against men now?
[00:03:12] Speaker B: Yes.
No kidding.
Throw punch.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Get him.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: They shall fine him a Hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman's father.
Because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife. He must not divorce her as long as he lives.
So now he's married to somebody he.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Doesn'T like and has to take care of her. And you can't, you know, he's got to treat her with respect. That's the thing.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Yeah. So that's going to be a cold house.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: That's going to be rough.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. Good Lord.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Now, here's the problem I have with that.
If the man falsely accuses her, he just has to pay 100 shekels.
But if she actually committed the act, she gets stoned.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: So apparently committing the act and falsely accusing are not equal crimes.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: No. Clearly.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: Anyway.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: Okay. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: You know what?
Something that just came to me.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: You know how this is kind of weird because in previous things it talks about men taking their virginity and not marrying the woman, and he just has to pay the father.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: What if that's the case?
[00:05:07] Speaker A: Well, but now that they're married and she's not a virgin.
So if the way I'm seeing this, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if the man. If the father promised that the man was getting a virgin and she's not, that's where the crime comes in here.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: If he says, yeah, you're getting some used goods, then there's no crime. Then there's no crime.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: And he can't.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: And he can't say anything anyway because he was. He got what he bought.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah. He was aware of it.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Yes. Okay.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: That's how I take it.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: That's how I take it. Yeah. Okay.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: Okay.
Where am I?
[00:05:47] Speaker A: 22.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Okay. If a man happens to meet in a town, a virgin pledged to be married.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: No, that's 20.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: That's 23.
My bad.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: 22. Do you need my glasses?
[00:06:02] Speaker B: No, I have my own.
[00:06:04] Speaker A: Well, maybe you should wear them.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the man and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
[00:06:17] Speaker A: Men get killed, too.
So don't commit adultery If a man.
[00:06:25] Speaker B: Happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death. The young woman, because she was in a town and. And did not scream for help, and the man, because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.
But if out of the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die.
Do nothing to the woman. She has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor. For the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father 50 shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
A man is not to marry his father's wife. He must not dishonor his father's bed.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: So there's a lot going on there, man, you know?
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: So if you rape a woman in the city who's pledged to be married or married and she doesn't scream for help, she and him die.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: If it's in the country only he dies because no one's there to help.
[00:08:03] Speaker B: Her or hear her.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
And if a man rapes a woman who is not pledged to be married, he has to marry her.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: And pay the father.
[00:08:18] Speaker A: And pay the father.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: So apparently only raping a married woman is punishable by death.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:36] Speaker A: If you rape a single woman, your punishment is you have to marry that woman now.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: Here's where I have a problem with that. And I know it's God's law. And you know, I'm not God's law.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: I have problems with that.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: Yeah, we can have. We can question it.
What if the young woman that was raped, who is single and not promised, doesn't want to be with that man.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Even though she. She screamed?
[00:09:05] Speaker A: Well, I mean.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: You're saying she screamed?
[00:09:07] Speaker A: Well, no, cuz if she's married, then he dies. But if she's not married, she's stuck with him. She's stuck with him.
Well, if she wanted to be with him, he wouldn't have had to rape her in the first place. She would have done it consensually.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: True.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: So now you're basically punishing Her.
Because he was an asshole.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:37] Speaker A: You know what I mean?
[00:09:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: So that's where I have a little disagreement with God on this. But it's God's rules, you know, we're playing God's games. So. So I'll abide by it.
But I just. I think that's wrong to make the woman have to marry the guy.
[00:09:56] Speaker B: Agree.
[00:09:57] Speaker A: That defiled her.
I think it should be her choice, you know, I mean, rape is rape if you rape a woman.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: But again, though, a woman didn't have choice of nothing, so.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: I get that.
I understand that. I just, you know.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: I didn't double negative, didn't have a choice of anything.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: I understand a lot of what was going on back then. Yeah, I do.
But this ain't about what's going on. It's like I said, God says he's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow forever.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: Rape is wrong, period. You should never rape a woman or a man. You should never rape anybody.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: And to me, this is kind of. You're punishing the woman for what the man did.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Yeah, not cool.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: Not cool.
Anyway, that one bothers me a little bit. But, you know, again, it's God and I'm not gonna. A la carte what I believe and what I follow.
I won't stick to it because that's.
But it's okay to question anyway, so. Yeah, rape is always bad no matter what in our book.
[00:11:16] Speaker B: Next.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Next we are going to jump to Deuteronomy 23.
We're going to jump down to verse 10.
So mouse keeps going away, it goes away.
Verse 10.
And this talks about uncleanness in the camp.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: Ew.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: Ew, that's yucky.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he had a wet dream.
Is that what that is?
[00:11:54] Speaker A: That's what that is.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: Oh, okay. He is to go outside the camp and stay there.
But as evening approaches, he is to wash himself and at sunset he may return to the camp.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: You know, you can't make this stuff up.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: How far am I supposed to go?
[00:12:14] Speaker A: That's it. That's all there is. Man.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: Nocturnal emission.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Nocturnal emission.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: All right, now I've heard it all.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: So.
Yeah, you know, I don't even know where to go with that one, quite honestly.
You know, if a man has a nocturnal emission, he's unclean.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: That's sad.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: Well, especially since when it tells you what he has to do.
So, you know, you know, people are watching around going, oh, look, John had an omission again.
He's Back down there. He's cleaning himself up.
[00:12:59] Speaker B: That's horrible.
You know, you can't help what your body does when you're sleeping.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: No, no, you can't, but.
[00:13:08] Speaker B: And God should know that. He created us.
[00:13:10] Speaker A: He does, but he's not saying it's a sin or anything.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: No, he just says you're unclean.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: You're unclean, and you gotta go outside the camp and stay there.
So, gosh, where are all the husbands?
[00:13:25] Speaker B: They're down at the creek.
[00:13:26] Speaker A: They're down at the creek.
You know, it would actually probably be all the teenagers, huh?
[00:13:32] Speaker B: Probably.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Shouldn't they all be in school? No.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Well, it was one of those nights. It was a full moon.
[00:13:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Little Billy happened to see something he shouldn't. You know, it's spring.
The birds and the bees are going at it.
Little Billy had his dreams.
That one got me. Anyway, I think that's a good one to end on there.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: You know, so, gentlemen, just watch your nocturnal emissions.
California has emissions control, so you should be able to, if you have problems, move there.
Anyway, thanks for joining us, guys. I know sometimes we get a little stupid and a little silly and, you know, we try to keep it entertaining and educational, but we're not experts at this. So if you want to reach out to us and talk to us, tell us your story, share with us. Like I've told you before, we talk to people around the world. It's so cool that we're able to reach and talk to others like us.
You can email us directly at the kinkychristianpodcastmail. You can leave comments below if you're watching us on Facebook. Like, subscribe, share us around.
You know, let's spread the word.
You know, let's try to maybe create a network for kinky Christians to actually be able to talk to each other and share. Because right now, some of the people we talk to in other countries, they're stuck.
They got nothing. You know, they can't.
They can't really talk to anyone because it's rough. So let's see if we can maybe create a community.
Reach out to us on Facebook.
We're not. Like I said, we're not active, but we do. Check it. The Kinky Christian Podcast on Facebook.
So, yeah, I think we're good for this episode. Till next time. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. God bless.
Never had one of those. What's that? Nocturnal emission.
Really?
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Never?
[00:16:05] Speaker A: Once. Wow. I have.
